Pardon The Interruption

I have an annoying habit, apparently.  According to my wife, I have a tendency to jump in on a conversation at the most inopportune time.  She says my interruptions cause her to loose her train of thought---and I'll add, sometimes her temper!  In my defense, I have a small brain.  When a relevant thought comes to mind, I figure I better put it out there before I forget what (I think) needs to be said.  Her usual reaction when one of these events occurs is to simply stop talking.  After the moment of silence, I'll say:  "Go ahead and finish your story."  If it has been one of those days she might reply:  "How would you feel if someone kept interrupting your conversations?"  And because my brain is small, I"ll say something like:  "It happens all the time---ATC has a frequency change; the flight attendants want to know when we're going to land; we get a ACARS message from dispatch; all sorts of things---so finish your story."  As I recall, the last time I put my foot in my mouth, she finished with:  "And you don't find that frustrating?"  After pondering the question for a bit, I said:  "Not really, the frustrating part is trying to remember what we were talking about before the interruption."

Speaking of frustrating. . .

ATC frequency congestion is something that frustrates everyone.  Airline pilots, corporate pilots, private pilots, and air traffic controllers all suffer together.  On crowded frequencies folks are always stepping on each other's transmissions.  It takes three times the effort to send or receive a message.  Calls are easily missed.  And then there's the occasional pilot that thinks he (or she) is the only guy in the sky and just flips the switch and starts talking. It's pretty easy to tell when a controller is nearing the end of his (or her) shift, or is just having a bad day.  "EVERYONE ON THE FREQUENCY STAND BY. . .  TRANS AMERICAN 2107 ONLY!  TRANS AMERICAN 2107, START YOUR DESCENT NOW, CROSS THIRTY SOUTH OF LINCOLN AT ONE ONE THOUSAND."

Occasionally you have a flight number that is particularly frustrating to operate under.  For whatever reason that sequence of numbers is hard to remember---almost always the third or forth call sign of the day.  Before you press the transmit button you have to first verify who you are; constantly checking the flight number clipped to your chart holder. Everything is out of sync.  After a few missed calls your air traffic controller will likely get sarcastic:  "LISTEN UP TRANS AMERICAN 2107, THIS IS THE THIRD CALL. . ."  A sarcastic reply in kind rarely helps the situation, and to be honest, is unprofessional, but every once and a while a gentle reminder that your chair is the one that is moving along at 450 knots helps to even the playing field.

A couple of one-liners. . .

A few months back one of our neighbors down at Jellystone Air Park was grumbling about an altercation he'd had with a sarcastic air traffic controller.  A call was missed and he was chastised severely.  When asked to elaborate, he said:  "Something about his tone just got under my skin. . .  I keyed the microphone and said:  The first time you called I dropped the mic.  The second time you called, I think we stepped on each other. . .  Now how can I be of assistance?"   I have to admit I do like a quick wit.  I've filed that one away for future use.

Back in my 737 first officer days I was flying with a fellow that was also quick witted.  I can't remember the airport (probably Chicago O'Hare) but the taxi instructions we received from the ground controller were the most confusing I had ever heard.  Sensing my frustration, my captain said:  "Just tell him we're from out of town. . ."